The comforter...

As I frolicked in my youth, I stumbled into a giant fair and tall. I found a great sense of security and admiration for this giant. So great was the comfort he brought me that I wrapped myself in his love as a child with its prized blanket. New, fresh, and warm was that love as down comforter. However as with any well love and not so gently treated blanket, it started to ware out. Our love was ever changing and evolving yet it become worn and not well loved, the way it should have been. Over the years it got a few snag and wholes, we did not mend it as we should have. The holes grew larger, soon gaps and tears nearly un-mendable. Then almost as a bad dream, that once warm and soft blanket no longer kept us warm and safe. I started to wake up cold and lonely scared. We tried to patch and mend our blanket, with no luck. We were work against each other instead of together, and it tore in half. Our dream was ended. Now I sit each day longing to feel that once great comfort I found.

With that loss, I have been asking myself how you just quit loving someone. You spend and invested so much into keeping together. I find I want to try to mend our blanket our love with no thread or needle to do so. Now I hold my half of the blanket and he his. Without the tools needed there is no way of putting the two halves back together.  What do I do with that love? Where does it go? You can’t just toss all the feelings away.  We still must share separate lives together, we have threads that binds together. Each one with a name, a personality, needs and a love we share.  I ask again, how you stop loving such a large part of your life?

I don’t know if you can ever stop loving. My feelings are that your love must change once more. This time it will hurt the most. Somehow some way that love you shared will change over time. I wish I knew how to make it hurt less, or even how it can change that way. I suppose that is where you rely of faith to get through. I have been told faith is like a mustard seed. So small is a mustard seed. Yet with the right setting it will grow into a great plant. With faith, love, patience and time I plant my seed of hope and love.  I pray that I am equal to the task set before me, that I can find a new way to love with the least amount of pain.